August 28, 2012

Top 10 things that should have been in the 1912 package.

Last week, the breaths of many around the world were bated as in Otta, Norway, a package that had been presented to the town by its mayor, Johan Nygard, in the 1920s and that had the words "Do not open until 2012" was finally opened. What was in the package: "the package contents seem to be primarily concerned with the construction of a monument to celebrate the victory [of the battle of Krinsberg] in 1612."  If Nygard had not preserved these trivialities in an overblown mystery, the contents would probably have been thrown out ages ago. But for a brief moment, there was the chance of something unusual. In honor of that moment, the top 10 things that should have been in the package.

10. A history of the last 100 years.
9. A book written in an unbreakable code.
8. A package traveling backward in time saying "Do not open until 1912."
7. A powder that, when water was added, would reconstitute itself into Johan Nygard.
6. The desiccated remains of a tiny alien.
5. Documents about the construction of a monument to commemorate the battle of Krinsberg, written in blood.
4. A remarkable worm said to be unknown to science.
3. A salacious, obscenity-filled epic rant about life as mayor of a small Norwegian town.
2. A notebook containing the identity of Jack the Ripper, the purpose of the Oak Island money pit, the location of the Ark of the Covenant, etc., etc.
1. The greatest, most complicated lutefisk recipe ever.


Post a Comment

<< Home